>confessions

May 31, 2009 § 2 Comments

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(Sunday Pilates in the Park. Photography by my father.)
***

I lie a lot on this blog. I’ve learned how to tell half-truths. Photographs are matched with words; often a narrative is formed here that didn’t exist in “real time.”

I’ve developed a blog persona. Every blog serves a purpose for its blogger. I see no good reason to project my negativity, sadness, or despair into public space, but that doesn’t mean that doing such a thing serves no function; it just isn’t for me. I’ve developed a fictional self, maybe a self who I’d prefer to be, an angle or a slice of me. “Persona” means mask, and my blog is one of the only masks I know how to wear to protect myself.

I guess I feel guilty about this. But every blogger decides the limits to what she will share with readers.

Being thirty has been much more of a struggle than I could have anticipated. Or maybe I could have anticipated this.

My blog provides a good challenge for me to see the positive, to recreate the story in a way that I wish it could be. Sometimes that challenge feels too impossible, immoral, and deceitful.

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§ 2 Responses to >confessions

  • Tammie says:

    >i dont think you should feel guilty—i dont really consider it being deceitful. i think the half truths and the narratives(that may not have really been there) serve the purpose of making a blog post interesting, more cohesive, and not twelve pages long. we all do that to some degree.i see nothing wrong with your blog being just a small snapshot of your life, a tiny part of the picture, or the way you wish the picture would look.

  • Kimberley says:

    >what a post! have you seen the movie Same Old Song? what you said reminds me of Camille in it. thanks for the realness. i love you.

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